Contributed by Nicholine Akou
Domestic violence is one of worst encounter a human being should experience in any form. This happens to be a case wherein, someone who feels superior oppresses the weaker person at home. The cases involved are; the husband abuses the wife, wife abuses the husband, wife abuses her children, father abuses his children or a Guardian abuses the children under his/ her care. Domestic violence can be in the form of physical, Economical, Emotional, verbal and more. Whatever form it might be, it is a call for concern because this is where psychological trauma begins and it becomes transitional to other generations if nothing is done about it. Below are few ways by which domestic violence occurs.
This is when the person who feels superior beats up and injures the weaker person. I have witnessed a case where a man beat his wife and injured one of her eyes. I have equally witnessed a case where, a woman uses a razor blade and cut her child’s body before beating him up and equally a woman pouring hot water on her husband. I’m not interested in what could be the actual reason behind this acts but all I have to say is that, it is inhumane and shouldn’t be carryout.
It involves someone restricting or extorting money from the other person. For example, a husband decides to make his wife financially depended on him ( restricts her from getting a job, collects her salary and even more) and in other cases, the woman turns the husband into some sort of ATM machine where she demands for money on less important things under the pretext that it is a man’s responsibility. This is not helpful at all in anyway. Growth entails putting resources and making plans together.
This is the one which defiles the human. When someone insults you, makes you feel inferior and guilty about yourself, it is an act of emotional violence. There are times where the abuser threatens to harm you, your family and even your friends. In whatever the case might be, it dehumanizes you leaving you to question about your existence which is absurd. Do not give anybody the opportunity to treat you in such manner for you are meant to be praised not to be put to shame for no good reason.
Other cases of emotional violence include one of the spouses cheating on the other. This causes a lot of emotional pain in the spouse who is being cheated upon. One of the spouses may go ahead and take decisions all alone in the family without consulting the other which creates some sort of master/subject relationship in the home. One of the couple may neglect the others emotional aspect of life by refusing to pamper or use soft words. We should remember that a home needs love to be able to stay bonded and it should be exhibited in every form.
Thisis actually a means to breakdown your emotions. This occurs when one of the family member utters provocative words, names or constantly reminds the other about his/her weaknesses. Either this is done in the presence of a third party or in a couple, it creates an uneasy atmosphere as the offender feels ridiculed. Be watchful over the things your spouse, guardian or children say to you. For the tongue can easily build and equally destroy what it has built for years.
The few points mentioned above, are to remind you that you are not alone in what you might be going through so don’t think twice to call out for help if you are faced with any of those. Violence is not something to be ignored.
Edited by Emiliene Alemkeng